


I'll be your quiet afternoon crush, be your violent overnight rush

by moonmotels



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonmotels/pseuds/moonmotels
Summary: a game of truth or dare, a bottle of whiskey, and old feelings of jealousy never make for a good combination.





	I'll be your quiet afternoon crush, be your violent overnight rush

**Author's Note:**

> “Maybe that was love. Choking sounds and silence.”
> 
> ― Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye

_hey, my love,_  
_I buried you a month or two ago_  
_when you left, you took my bestest friend away,_ _  
and in this mess, I think I dug a thousand graves_

***

“Truth or dare?”

Misty sat back in her seat, the ice in her glass clinking softly with the slow movement. Her brain felt like it was underwater, swimming in a sea of alcohol and hazy twinkling lights. Somehow Zoe, Coco, and Madison had swindled her into playing this drinking game originally meant for children, but she had to admit that after four refills of Cordelia’s top shelf whiskey it was beginning to get a little fun. Coco would disagree, especially after being dared to drink down a concoction Zoe had conjured up that included every drink from the bottom shelf of the fridge Queenie conveniently kept forgetting to clean out.

Wiping away the remaining tears from her laughter, Misty pondered a moment, knowing Madison would make either choice undesirable for her.

“Truth.”

Madison snickered, a low sound that caused Zoe to shoot her a wild look that pleaded something unintelligible. Misty couldn’t place her finger on it until Madison replied, “Okay, swampy. Tell us how you really feel about Cordelia getting drinks with that hot dude that wanted to talk finances about funding for the coven. I bet you she’s three glasses of wine deep with her hand down his pants right about _n-_ “

Zoe swiftly and sharply jabbed her in the ribs and she yelped, “What? I’m just being honest.”

Swallowing thickly, Misty felt the press of Coco’s hand on her thigh. From off to her right side, she heard Coco’s voice low and cool in her ear, “You don’t have to answer that, babe. She’s just drunk. We all are.” Misty nodded imperceptibly, the buzzing in the back of her mind intensifying with every second she took to give her answer. This time, she knew it wasn’t from the alcohol. It was always like this. The low hum corrupted her soul from the inside out whenever Cordelia was mentioned, even worse when she was around. It was a tickling sensation that bloomed in her chest and quickly flooded her system until everything was a blur of indistinguishable shapes and colors. And if Misty knew anything having a crush, that meant that she was _fucked._

When Cordelia had mentioned fleetingly this morning that she was having a business meeting with this guy, Misty thought she would be all well and fine with an evening alone. She even ignored everyone’s sympathetic looks over cereal bowls and plates, continuing to nonchalantly eat her own food and ignore that stabbing pain in her chest. She ignored them so hard, in fact, that she missed the look Cordelia tossed at her which was a mixture between pained and apologetic. It was probably for the best, she didn’t need the object of her desire feeling sorry for her just like everyone else seemed to _._

And it _was_ all fine. Until Cordelia came down the stairs that evening looking like an incredibly sinful dream in a black cocktail dress that showcased her lean, pale legs Misty wanted to brush her mouth up the length of. Not to mention the near scandalous plungeline of the dress that left Misty physically digging her nails into palms, leaving small bruises that would remind her for a week to come that Cordelia would never be coming down the stairs dressed like this for _her_. And when Cordelia ordered a car and mentioned this guy had made reservations at a fancy wine bar that had a year long wait list, well, that certainly didn’t help stoke the fire burning inside Misty’s chest.

So she got drunk. It helped soothe some semblance of the pain inside her chest for a short amount of time. For the few hours Cordelia was at this wine bar, everything was simple and easy until Madison had poked the beast and now she was brimming on the edge of losing it all. To calm herself off the ledge of smacking Madison’s smirk into next week, Misty thought about Cordelia. How she always managed to sit as close as possible during movie nights, the way they still shared a bed despite the numerous free rooms, the way Cordelia always held her hand tightly at 2am when they were drifting off to a dreamless sleep. None of that helped Misty recover from this pitiful crush she’d been harboring.

Snapping back into reality as much as possible, she drug her bottom lip between teeth and straightened up to square eyes with Madison. Ignoring the answer alcohol wanted her to reply, she said, “I don’t know what you mean by how I ‘really feel’, but Cordelia’s free to do as she pleases. Isn’t having a reliable source of funding good for us? It’ll take some stress off her back.”

“So would you railing the fuck out of her into oblivion, but y’all are too busy pining over each other to do that.”

“Madison!” Another jab.

Misty inconspicuously flinched before downing her glass. She motioned towards Coco to pour her another and merely tipped her glass when it was met with a questioning look. If Madison wanted to play games with her, she needed a little bit more liquid courage.

“Like I said, she’s free to do as she pleases.”

Madison leaned forward, swaying a little with each passing moment the alcohol thrummed in her system. Misty hadn’t been able to keep up with her, who was now at least three more shots deep than the rest of them. Apparently the alcohol did nothing to diminish her snark and general bitchiness, as she snapped back, “The day you finally grow some fucking balls and stop puttering around like a lost puppy to tell her how you really feel, I’ll kiss one of your goddamn alligators on the nose. That’ll be great for my Instagram stories,” she laughed to herself, sitting back and looking incredibly pleased. “Anyway, my turn. Ask me.”

Misty had to reign in every emotion that threatened to spill out over the nice carpet Cordelia had recently purchased. Cocking her head to the side, she asked, “Truth or dare?”

Madison tilted her glass to swallow the remaining amber color liquid in her glass, puckering her lips and answering, “Dare, bitch.

Misty laughed out a low chuckle, gesturing for everyone to lean in, throwing her wide arms around all three of them. In an instant, she transmuted the group to her tiny shack in the middle of the swamp, grinning when Madison immediately complained.

“You’re fucking kidding me, what are we doing here? If I didn’t already know my own personal Hell I’d think this was it.”

Rolling her eyes, Misty inhaled the sickly sweet air that flowed in from the numerous cracks in her home away from home. “Put your money where your mouth is, Hollywood. Go kiss one a’ my gators.”

Madison fumed, stomping her feet once and crossing her arms. “What the fuck? I was joking. I’m not touching your stupid gators, you absolute cretin.”

Coco was beside herself, plopping down on Misty’s small cot to compose her full body laughter. Drunkenly, she picked up a small photo book on Misty’s nightstand. Too slow to snatch it from Coco’s fingers, she watched with wide eyes as she untied the string and flipped open the pages.

“ _Oh-_ “

Misty feebly took it from her and went to tie it back up when Madison grabbed it too quickly for her to do so.

“It’s just-“ Misty sighed. “It’s a gift for her birthday next month. Just some photos of the two a’ us that I thought she’d like,” she mumbled.

“Oh, this is gold. It’s like a little book of sadness you probably flick yourself off to when Cordelia’s on business trips. Is that why you always come here when she’s gone?”

“ _No_ ,” Misty cried defensively, “I just don’t like bein’ with your bratty ass so I come here for a break.”

“Sure, swampy. This is actually kinda cute. I bet Cordy will have a field day with this.” She tossed the book back on the nightstand and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of nowhere, “I need a fucking smoke, my skin is crawling just by being here.” Zoe trailed behind her slowly out of the door, turning to give Misty an apologetic look.

When the door banged shut, Coco’s voice was once again low in her ear. “I’m sorry. My drunk ass thought it was like a book of childhood pictures or something.”

Misty squeezed her hand and shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s a stupid idea. Pathetic, really.”

The look on Coco’s face made her feel small and meek, like a child that had spent all afternoon crafting something in hopes of it ending up on the fridge but instead making it straight into the trash. Realizing quickly that her face conveyed every emotion, Coco reigned herself in.

“ _No-_ no, it’s not the book. That's really nice, she'll love it. You’re not pathetic, Madison just likes to take digs at people because she lost like eight million followers on Instagram after being in Hell for so long. She makes fun of people to feel something.”

“Yeah, but she’s right. It’s a sad gift. Cordelia deserves so much more than I can give her. Grand gestures, y’know? Trips ‘round the world and dates to nice places like...wine bars.”

“Oh, babe, is that why you’ve been looking like someone died all night? Because she's with that guy? It’s not a date, it’s strictly business. She even told me she’d rather spend the night with you watching Grace & Frankie.”

Misty sniffled and allowed herself to be held in Coco’s loving arms. “She really said that?”

“Would I lie to you?” She began rocking them back and forth while Misty wished a sinkhole would open up and swallow her whole.

“You seem like you’ve got it pretty bad,” Coco commented as delicately as she could in her own drunken stupor.

The blonde in her arms blinked slowly and nodded. “Yeah, I think I do too.”

The door to the shack swung open and Madison stepped back inside. “Okay, swampy, I finished your dare. Can we go home?”

Misty sat up halfway and wiped her tears, hoping neither her or Zoe noticed. “Nah, doesn’t count. I need to see it.”

“Watch my Instagram story, Zoe recorded it for me. Let’s go. I need like, fifteen showers.”

Chuckling, Misty crowded them back together and transmuted them home, right smack in the foyer at the same second Cordelia stepped through the front door. Freezing in place, they all waited with bated breath as she stumbled in gracefully. After a few _accidents_ , Cordelia had kindly requested that her close friends not transmute themselves in and out of the academy in case a younger member saw them and decided to try it.

She didn’t seem to be displeased at all, in fact, she seemed-

“Cordelia, are you drunk?” Zoe’s disbelief was palpable. None of them had ever seen Cordelia get a little more than buzzed, Misty included. She was partial to her one glass of red wine at dinner and always cut herself off shortly thereafter.

The fact that her dress was slightly bunched and there was a lilt in her voice made Misty want to cry, scream, and profess her love in that order. Cordelia looked like a dreamy mirage to her, with flushed cheeks and that goddamn _dress_ sliding up pale thighs with every step she took. Misty‘s mind was muddled with inappropriate images, all starting with her peeling that dress right down Cordelia’s body. But then again, the fact that she’d allowed herself to forgo inhibition in the presence of a near stranger also made Misty’s chest clench to say the least. _Maybe she really was three glasses deep with her hand down-_

Attempting and failing to stand up straight, everyone could see their Supreme was trying her damndest to make it seem as though she were sober. “I may have had several glasses of a German Riesling,” she drawled. “And the plates of food were tiny, I had my driver stop to get pizza on the way home.” She hiccuped, an adorable noise, music to Misty’s ears. Still, she couldn’t grasp her head around the fact that Cordelia seemed pleased with how her evening had ended up. Which probably meant she’d had a fun time. With a man. Who wasn’t Misty. Her skin prickled with jealousy, starting at the base of her neck and traveling down her spine.

“Oh, this is perfect,” Madison whispered under her breath, then louder, “Cordy, we’re right in the middle of a game of truth or dare. Come play with us.” She cracked a wide smile that meant she had something up her sleeve.

Misty opened her mouth to protest, but Coco beat her to it. “Mads, I bet she’s tired. Let her go.”

“Oh my God, it’s like 11:30 on a Saturday. Live a little, Miss Supreme.”

“I can manage a round or two.”

Madison clapped her hands in excitement. “Let’s fucking play.”

So Misty trailed behind everyone slowly as they trickled back into the living room. She couldn’t just go to bed and let Madison make a fool out of Cordelia, now could she?

They all sat, Madison flinging herself into the armchair, Zoe perching on the arm of it. Coco sat on the couch next to her, lying down and stretching her legs out so there was no room for Misty, leaving only the love seat open. Tentatively, she sat down and waited as Cordelia chucked her heels off and glanced around for a seat. When she narrowed in on the one spot left available, Misty could see her visibly swallow. Squeezing down next to Misty in the spot barely large enough for two, she turned and whispered a _sorry_ that didn’t sound like she was sorry at all. In fact, under the alcoholic haze, she smiled and seemed quite elated with the seating arrangement.

Misty, on the other hand was _not_. Between the alcohol, Madison, and the way Cordelia’s knee knocked against hers, she was beginning to feel the effects of tomorrow’s hangover banging at the inside of her skull. Shooting an icy look at Coco, who winked back at her, Misty shifted so that she would take up as little space as possible.

Cordelia brushed a lock of Misty’s hair out of her face, softly smiling when it made the latter look over at her. “Have you been drinking?” She gestured with a head nod towards the bottle of whiskey and accompanying glasses on the table.

Misty nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. “Is that okay?” Her breath hitched as Cordelia brushed a soft thumb over the swell of her cheek, searching her eyes for an explanation when it landed on the plump skin of her lower lip. Keeping her thumb there for the time being, Cordelia looked right back into Misty’s baby blues, hoping the burning sensation she felt was recognized mutually.

Her eyes crinkled, shining with a thousand lights that lit up every dark crevice of Misty’s soul. “Why wouldn’t it be? You’re welcome to anything I have here. Alcohol included.”

_Does that include your heart?_

“Jesus, lesbos, let's play. Cordelia, you can pick first.”

Dropping her hand, Cordelia ignored the name calling and looked pointedly at Coco. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How often do you watch porn?” Everyone went silent for a beat, eyebrows raised, Misty barely managing to keep her jaw off the ground. Madison broke first, erupting in giggles that made tears spring to her eyes. “I fucking love drunk Cordelia.”

Even Coco began shaking with laughter, leaning down to top everyone’s glass off. “That’s easy. Every day unless I’ve got a tinder date. Who doesn’t get off to porn every day?”

Misty’s cheeks flared and she swore Cordelia glanced discreetly over at her. She didn’t need porn for _that_ , her own fantasies were enough for a lifetime's worth of arousal _thankyouverymuch_.

Cordelia seemed pleased with the answer, snapping her fingers to make an extra tumbler appear out of thin air. “Thanks for answering. Top me off.” She must have been too focused on the drink to hear Madison whisper under her breath, “I know something else that can top you.” Misty flipped her off when Cordelia wasn’t looking.

After Coco leaned back, she looked over at Zoe and slurred, “Truth or dare babygirl.”

Zoe looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh, dare I guess.”

Coco chuckled. “Go steal Queenie’s phone and send a text to her boy toy of the week without waking her up.”

The young brunette looked as though Coco had asked her to murder her entire family. “I can’t do that, she’ll wring my neck out if she catches me.”

“That’s the game, Zoe.” Coco wasn’t going to let her back out of this one. In the blink of an eye, Zoe sighed and transmuted herself to Queenie’s room with an expression on her face that made it look like she was going to throw up. As Madison and Coco busied themselves on their phones for the wait, Misty feigned interest in everything but Cordelia despite every atom in her body screaming to just drink in the sight next to her.

Cordelia seemed to have other plans, dancing her fingers along the inside of Misty’s knee, seemingly engrossed in the goosebumps that raised there. If Cordelia kept that up, Misty was sure she’d be having an aneurysm, heart attack, and stroke in that order. Keeping her voice low, the Supreme asked, “Did you have fun tonight? Do any crazy dares?” She sounded genuinely curious, like she expected Misty to say she did a keg stand or streaked naked down the street.

“Nothin’ crazy, scouts honor.”

“That’s a shame, maybe later we can make up for it.”

Misty balked, and before she could ask what that meant, Zoe was back, teetering as she flashed back onto the arm of the chair.

“Did you do it?”

The brunette nodded, looking self-satisfied. “All done. I texted him and said to come over at 7am. I told him to call her, not ring the doorbell. She’s going to murder me, but how funny is that going to be? You all know she hates getting up at the crack of dawn.” Everyone agreed by dissolving into laughter, even Cordelia.

The warm feeling inside Misty’s gut had settled into a low thrum, the alcohol finally doing its job of clouding her rational judgement. She let her head lull to the side, finding its home on the soft curve between Cordelia’s neck and shoulder. The latter shifted so it was more comfortable for both parties, her warm skin being the only thing Misty ever wanted to feel for the rest of her life.

“Hey, Cordy, you never told us how your date- I mean business meeting went.” Madison was past the point of no return, and all Misty could do was wish her the worst hangover tomorrow morning.

“Oh,” she shifted and sat forward, causing Misty’s head to roll back out of her embrace. She missed the contact immediately. “It went great. Yeah, he said he may have an investment for us in the next coming weeks. It might just take a while. You know, business and all.” Everyone hummed their agreement.

Zoe drunkenly stumbled over her words, “Madison, truth or dare?”

“Babe, you know me by now. Dare.”

Pondering a moment, Zoe pointed lazily towards the near empty bottle of whiskey. “Chug the rest of that.”

Cordelia finally seemed to see through the haze of her various drinks, opening her mouth to protest the gross exaggeration of drinking but Madison was too quick. In several large gulps, the whiskey was gone and the bottle was smacked back down on the table. “Easy,” she opened her mouth to prove it was finished. “Didn’t you guys know I was like a teenage alcoholic?”

“ _Was_?” Coco looked disgusted.

Madison zoned in on Misty’s underlying panic. Smiling mischievously, she asked, “Mist, truth or dare?”

Knowing if she picked truth, Madison would make her admit something she had a hard time admitting to herself, she gritted her teeth and picked, “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss Cordelia.” She’d clearly been waiting for this moment all night, her conniving little brain working overtime to make this as painful as possible for Misty.

Coco gasped. Zoe swiveled her head so fast towards Madison that Misty wondered if it was possible to break your neck that way. The only person who didn’t make any semblance of movement or sound was Cordelia. Icy hot heat bloomed inside Misty’s heart, simultaneously hardening and shattering it into a million pieces. Her fingers clenched into duel fists in an attempt to stop her hands from trembling and giving away her hysteria.

She opened her mouth to tell Madison off, but Cordelia; in her usual elegance, managed to stand on unsteady feet and make her way out of the room. “It seems that sleep has caught up to me, I’ll see everyone in the morning. Hungover or not, I want you all up for breakfast.”

Misty watched her retreating figure, throat burning with the heat of a thousand fires. Tears clouded her vision while the rejection stung as if Cordelia had slapped the air out of her lungs. Turning to look back at Madison, she spit out, “You’re a fucking bitch.”

“Yeah, what the fuck, Mads?” Coco was surprisingly picking a side in this, usually steering clear of Misty and Madison’s spats. Even Zoe looked upset with Madison’s dare.

“What? It’s not like swampy was going to do it on her own. I’m just helping speed up the process. You’ll be thanking me later.”

“Fuck off,” was Misty’s feeble reply as she stalked out of the living room towards her and Cordelia’s room. The problem was that she wasn’t too keen on sleeping in the pair of jeans she’d slipped on earlier that afternoon. If her pajamas weren’t hanging in the closet, she would have said _fuck it_ and slept on the couch. Trudging slowly towards the closed bedroom door, she took her sweet time getting there in hopes Cordelia was already asleep.

Everyone knew she and Cordelia shared a room and a bed, but not everyone seemed aware Misty shared more than that with her. Even if this unrequited crush was exactly that, _unrequited-_ Misty still gave her heart up willingly, so willingly in fact, that it bordered on recklessness. Every piece of her soul belonged to Cordelia so long as she wanted it.

Which she didn’t seem to, especially not after taking the cowardly way out of the game and leaving Misty more miserable than she’d been since this crush began.

Pausing before the closed door, Misty took a deep breath and cracked it open to peek her head inside. Cordelia was indeed on the bed, but Misty could tell she was still awake with the way her breathing hadn’t shallowed out and she wasn’t taking up her side and half of Misty’s. They often ended up tangled in each other’s embrace, limbs askew and hair tickling the other’s chest. It hurt Misty, to be so close to Cordelia yet still so far. At least she got this.

It was something, and that’s more than she could ask for. There was still a part of her that wished that she didn’t know everything about Cordelia, because life would be just the slightest bit more tolerable that way. Like when Cordelia is mad, her jaw clenches so tightly Misty has to remind her to loosen up and _breathe_. Or even the way Misty knows she lets out these tiny sighs that escape from her lips when she gets sad. The one that makes Misty hurt most though, is the adorable look of concentration Cordelia gets when she’s focused on something in their greenhouse, the little puffs of air that showcase her annoyance when something doesn’t go right. All these character traits and quirks were just some of the seemingly hundreds of reasons she’d fallen in love, and now there seemed to be no way out of it.

Misty would have been sufficiently pleased to have met this absolute angel in line for coffee once and then gone their separate ways, because at least they would have had a fleeting moment in time together and she wouldn’t be stuck here in this constant torment.

Cordelia sniffled once and turned over at the sound of the door, while Misty cringed inwardly. “Sorry, I’m just- I’ll get my pajamas and sleep down on the couch. Don’t wanna make things weird,” she chuckled. She averted her gaze and shuffled over to open the closet door.

Leaving a sliver of the door cracked for some light, Misty quickly shifted out of her clothes and into her sleep outfit. Tossing the dirty clothes on the floor and kicking them towards the back, she left the closet and went to leave her alone.

“Misty.”

She paused with her hand on the doorknob, unwilling to turn around and face Cordelia. She couldn’t take much more of this tonight, Cordelia’s beautiful face in her line of vision and the useless apologies she knew were forthcoming. All she wanted to do was forget this entire nightmare ever happened, praying to wake up in the morning and erase it all from memory. If only Madison hadn’t finished the bottle, she would have used it to nurse the gaping wound left behind from Cordelia’s refusal to complete the dare.

“What?”

“Can you just come lie down,” she sighed. “I can’t sleep without you next to me.”

 _Oh_. Well that was.. _not_ what Misty thought she was going to say.

“Nah, I’ll just sleep downstairs. We can move on in the morning,” Her heart thundered so loudly in her chest that she was positive Madison was laughing about it a few rooms down.

“Misty, shut up. I don’t care about that. I care about being able to fall asleep without having nightmares in the middle of the night. They only stop when you’re around.”

Cordelia was definitely still intoxicated, clearly not seeming to care that she was pushing the boundaries of whatever this _thing_ was. And Misty, well, she was the queen of doing the same. She tentatively crawled under covers on her side, facing away from Cordelia and lying so rigidly that her muscles began hurting after a few seconds.

A sharp poke on her shoulder blade made her cringe. Cordelia hadn’t merely gone to sleep like Misty had hoped, instead sitting there and tormenting her with every passing second they weren’t exposing their hearts to each other in this darkened room.

“Can I help you?”

“How come you’re not talking to me like you usually do?” Cordelia’s voice was airy and soft, her usual tone laced with the continuous effects of her many drinks. Misty wished she’d be quiet, so it wasn’t one more thing to add to the never ending list of reasons why she was in love.

_Because I’m in love with you and you couldn’t even let me give you a peck on the cheek? Because you’re probably planning on seeing that investor guy again? Because every part of me aches to be in your arms and all I can do is lie here while you’re just out of reach?_

“Because there’s nothing to talk about.” A lie. There were several things Misty had on the tip of her tongue that she could easily start spouting off, but if she did there would never be an end to it. So she kept her mouth shut and closed her eyes once more.

“Then I’ll talk.”

“I never said you couldn’t.”

Misty could feel the bed shift as Cordelia stretched out on her back, one of her legs softly settling in between the two of Misty’s. It was an electrifying and sickening feeling, because Cordelia didn’t know the risk she’d taken by doing this. It made Misty’s head hurt under the softness of it all.

“I lied to you earlier. To everyone,” she corrected herself. “Dinner with the investor, Matthew, didn’t go well at all.”

“Oh?” Misty breathed out, hoping to hide the relief in her tone. “How come?”

“It was fine at first, when we first got there. But then I quickly realized he’d only set this up so he could take me out. He barely talked about funding, instead how nice I looked and how glad he was that I agreed to drinks.”

“He didn’t have anything to say about funding?” Misty felt bad for Cordelia now, knowing she’d been stressing about finding a source of income for months. And clearly this lead was blown to shit.

“Oh, he had a lot to say about funding after putting his hand on my thigh,” Cordelia mused, “More so if I had gone up to his hotel room as he so eloquently suggested.”

_I’ll cut out his eyeballs. Slice his dick off. Call his mother up and tell her she raised a pathetic excuse of a human._

Suddenly, Cordelia’s abrupt exit from the game didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was that Misty soothed her concerns and disappointment at the way her evening panned out. She knew Cordelia didn’t like to discuss personal or financial matters with anyone, so this meant something that they were being shared with her. Sighing, Misty lifted herself up on two elbows and turned to face the love of her life.

Finally getting a good look at Cordelia, Misty’s eyes traveled down at the shirt draping her slim frame. Physically wrenching her eyes away from where the shirt ended at the tip top of creamy thighs, she interrupted, “Is that my shirt?”

Fiddling with the hem of it, Cordelia glanced down like she had forgotten it was there. “I suppose it is. What are you going to do about it?” If Misty wasn’t too busy remembering how to breathe in and out, she may have caught the suggestive tone overpowering the question.

_Pull it up over your head and kiss every place it touched._

“Nothin’, it’s all yours. I’m real sorry the meeting didn’t go how you’d hoped. Was the wine good at least?”

A toothy grin. “The best. He really tried his hardest to get me to focus on getting into bed with him, like he’s even the person I-“ she paused and shook her head, “But anyway, I kept ordering wine on his tab. Which he then paid for, after I snuck out while he was in the restroom. Payback, I suppose.”

Misty couldn’t help the exuberant laugh that slipped from between her lips. “You amaze me, Cordelia.”

“Yeah?” She challenged Misty’s willpower, “How so?”

Misty went to reach for her hand like she always did, but the rejection still stung enough to cause her to pull back halfway through the notion. Cordelia saw every second of the way Misty’s brain silently caught up to her heart, snatching her hand back from where it had retreated.

Lacing their fingers together, she repeated, “How so?”

The younger witch couldn’t breathe. There was no air in her lungs anymore, Cordelia had taken every breath away with the simplest gesture and low murmur of a question. Blinking rapidly, she stammered, “In every way possible. You’re magnificent. There’s nothing you can’t do or fix, and it amazes me everyday without fail. Plus, I’m just now realizing that you’re a fun drunk. Where has this been my whole life?”

Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut and lulled her head to the side. “I don’t like my girls seeing me inebriated. You, especially,” she whispered, a thin smile ghosting her features.

Misty balked. “Why me?”

“Because,” Cordelia still kept her eyes shut, “There’s things I can’t tell you that the alcohol wants me to.”

“Why can’t you tell me?” Misty swore she could feel the blood pumping in and out of her heart with every beat. There was a bell ringing incessantly in the back of her mind, sounding a lot like her common sense being tossed out a window. She had knowingly just crossed the line, waiting on the other side with arms outstretched for whenever Cordelia decided to join.

“Tell me why you can’t admit these things,” she demanded again when Cordelia neglected to answer, this time taking no prisoners. She sounded like a crazed woman that needed to be talked off the ledge, but if the alcohol was going to act as a catalyst for this, she was going to squeeze every drop of it to her advantage. Despite shaky palms and visible distress, Misty was done fighting every urge to tell Cordelia how she made the sun rise every morning in her heart. And how Cordelia somehow managed to gracefully fight off her own demons alongside Misty’s like a fucking superhero. And _especially_ how Cordelia put all her troubles at ease with a mere grin or careful palm placed on her shoulder.

Cordelia was clearly not tired of fighting her own urges. She merely shook her head, voice dropping even lower than it had been. “It’s not important. It’s stupid of me to think-” she shook her head, “Never mind.”

Misty was suddenly agitated. “Cordelia, you can’t just play mind games like this. I can sleep next to you, and hold your hand, and lie close to you when we watch tv, but I cannot be kept in the dark. You can’t keep these things from me.” If Misty’s most recent assumption was correct, that meant Cordelia had _also_ been harboring a crush. But she hadn’t done anything about it, which meant Misty’s worst living nightmare was true.

Cordelia didn’t _want_ to be with her.

Very quickly, Misty’s mind was made up. Cordelia had never said anything because what kind of self-respecting woman wanted to shack up with Misty Day, fuck up extraordinaire. Like the puzzle pieces had finally been put into place, everything finally made sense. How Cordelia would only hold her hand under the cloak of night in their room, and the way she fed popcorn to her during movie night only when no one else was watching. She was trying to keep her desires at bay so that they never blossomed into anything else. Every little thing found a place in Misty’s mind to be tied back to this heartbreaking conclusion.

The older blonde pursed her lower lip, looking upset at how quickly things had shifted. “It wasn’t my intention to upset you. That’s never what I meant to do.”

“I’m not upset. I’m- I’m _tired._  Just so goddamn tired.”

“Misty-“

“Cordelia, it’s fine. We can just go to sleep and forget this whole thing happened. Goodnight.”

She turned back over on her side, hoping the quiet sounds of the settled room weren’t disturbed once more by Cordelia’s sweet voice toying with her.

“Misty, talk to me.”

“I said there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Why are you upset with me? Because of the game? Or because of what I said? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That wasn’t meant to hurt you.”

Misty wasn’t hurt, she was frustrated. Frustrated that she was here asking Cordelia to disclose her most personal secret when Misty couldn’t even bring herself to do the same. Frustrated that no matter what she did, nothing would ever be good enough for Cordelia. She deserved entire universes and galaxies, when Misty had nothing to give. Not even a dollar to her name.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Cordelia sounded exasperated at this point. “Clearly it does,” she snapped. “What are you so distressed about? It’s my job to help you.”

Misty angrily flipped back over. “I’m _distressed_ because I’ve been in love with you this whole goddamn time and you’re so opposed to being with me that you can’t even let me peck your cheek to shut Madison up. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

She rolled back over with a loud huff, anger lacing the finality of her words. Misty didn’t care she’d just admitted the thing that had wrapped itself so tightly around her heart. Nothing mattered at all anymore. She should have never convinced herself that she could be happy someday.

“That’s not true.”

Misty’s cheeks flared red, hot to touch on the cool pillow as she shot back, “Yes it is.”

“No-” Cordelia emphasized, “It’s not. Is that really what you believe?”

“I don’t have t’ believe anything, that’s the truth. Stop draggin’ this out, let me go to sleep and I’ll pack my shit in the morning.”

“Misty,” she said gently, as if talking to a small animal or child, “Don’t you have any idea of how much I love you?”

Misty nearly looked around the room to double check that a meteor hadn’t struck her dead and she was now in the afterlife. She squeezed her eyes shut and then blinked rapidly to make sure she wasn’t dreaming and had actually heard that right. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes for maybe the fiftieth time that night, throat swelling up as she nearly cried, “What?”

Cordelia tugged at her shoulder incessantly until Misty finally shrugged her off and rolled over to face her once more. “I said, don’t you have an-”

“I heard you the first time.”

“But you don’t believe me.” Cordelia didn’t sound accusatory or even remotely surprised, merely keeping her eyes fixed on the sunshine colored hair tickling the skin on her forearm.

“Because how do I know you really mean that?” Misty had never once in her life been told by someone who truly mattered that they loved her. Not from her first love, not her last, and certainly not any one in between. Cordelia was the only constant in her life that meant something on a heightened level than everyone else.

If Cordelia was the sun that rose every morning, Misty was her moon that hung back and watched as her rays spread love and warmth across the land. If she were the flowers that bloomed after the long winter, Misty was the dirt that watched as she grew strong and proud. Everything Misty had, she owed to Cordelia. Every atom, fiber of her being, and soul had been created specifically to be placed delicately in her deserving hands.

“Misty,” she sighed, “I’ve loved you relentlessly from the day we met. I convinced myself that you don’t love me the way I love you, because you love _everything_ so deeply. The earth, our plants, _Stevie_ \- you just radiate this calm energy that projects your emotions over everything you touch like they turn to gold. And that’s not a bad thing, you’re just too good for me. I don’t deserve that type of intimacy.”

“No,” Misty fiercely denied this, forcing Cordelia’s chin up for eye contact. “You got it ass backwards. I have never in my life loved anything as much as I love you. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you.” If she weren’t burning from the inside out at Cordelia’s soft confession, Misty may have found it in her to laugh at this unique situation they’d cornered themselves into. So typical of them, ignoring the call their souls sang out to each other to instead tip toe around corners and hurt themselves in the process.

Cordelia laughed out loud for the both of them. “I can’t believe us. I have to say, I didn’t think it would end up like this. I thought I was taking this secret to my grave.”

Misty clasped Cordelia’s chin with a firm yet soft grasp. All her energy and love tunneled through the touch as Cordelia fluttered her eyelids under the intimate gesture. “Why are you so afraid of this?”

“Why are you?”

“I’m not gonna hurt ya, and I know for certain you won’t hurt me. I just feel like if I let myself have you I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll all be a mirage. Like I’m on a desert island about to wake up. My new version of hell,” she murmured.

“Well it's a good thing you’re in a house in New Orleans and not some deserted island,” Cordelia exhaled. “And it’s definitely not a dream, because you’re far more perfect than anything my mind could conjure up.”

Blushing and bowing her head, Misty took a few deep breaths to compose her rapid heartbeat. There was still something in her that screamed maybe Cordelia was lying, maybe this was a dream, _maybe-_

“I think you still have a dare to complete.”

Misty raised her head and locked gazes with her once more, an unspoken question in her eyes. Cordelia merely offered a small grin and nod.

Then their lips were brushing against each other, small noises of content spilling out in the stale air between them. Misty squeezed her eyes shut tight and hoped to god when she opened them Cordelia was still there.

And she was. Cordelia clutched tightly at the base of Misty’s skull and pressed her further into the kiss. Over and over, they let this cataclysmic burn overtake every single one of their senses. Misty’s body was alight at the way Cordelia held her so close like any space between them would be a terrible disgrace. Blazing heat bubbled up inside Misty as she did what she had been dying a thousand deaths per day to do.

Misty felt her hands wander without shame over the curve of Cordelia’s shoulder and down the length of her arm, clutching it there in hopes that she was told to never let go. Everything felt so _right_. Forgetting why she ever felt bad about loving Cordelia so much, she channeled all that previous negative energy into something much more positive.

Finally pulling back to let out a gust of air in her lungs, Misty was delighted to see her other half similarly disheveled and heaving. Wiping her thumb across Cordelia’s lower lip to remove the smudged lipstick, Misty unraveled at the seams too rapidly to stop herself from demanding huskily, “Let me touch you.” She punctuated the request by tossing the covers off and yanking Cordelia’s body so she could cover it with her own.

Another kiss atop swollen lips.

Misty could hear the pounding heartbeat in Cordelia’s chest as she lay her head down gently. For a prolonged, beautiful handcrafted moment, they lied there together as one. One soul, one heart, one body. Just the way Misty had been dreaming it.

“Let me touch you,” she repeated, less urgently this time. They had forever and a day, according to the way Cordelia gazed at her like she had single handedly put the stars in the sky.

Pondering for moment, Cordelia replied, “I want you to, but you’ve been drinking. We both have. I want to remember every moment.”

“Cordelia, I’ve never felt more sober in my life. I will never forget anything about this for as long as God lets me live on his big green earth. Please, don’t make me ask again.”

“Okay,” she finally nodded and acknowledged Misty’s tiny but fierce plea. “I act like I’ll forget everything when we know damn well I won’t.”

“Exactly.”

She then took in the sweet pleasure of Cordelia’s sigh as Misty shyly lifted the hem of their shared shirt. Pausing with two fistfuls of fabric, she kissed the tiny sliver of exposed skin she’d granted herself the gift of seeing. Under her breath, she mumbled, “This damn shirt looks so much better on you.” Greedy for more, for all of Cordelia, she lifted it up further and helped her pull it over her head.

And then Cordelia was bare from the waist up.

Misty couldn’t bring herself to focus on any one area, the alcohol that had been seeping her brain long gone at this new intoxicating distraction. Her eyes wandered slowly over the plains of beautifully smooth skin, the curves of her shoulders down to the tips of her fingers, the chest that was heaving with every breath Cordelia took in. The pebbled tips of her nipples that made Misty’s mouth water.

“Can I-”

She didn’t even finish her request before Cordelia sighed out a desperate, “Please.”

Misty dropped her head down and tentatively ran her tongue between the valley of Cordelia’s breasts. Kissing her there, feeling her heart beating rapidly under her ribcage, Misty thanked her guardian angel and lucky stars that all her greatest fantasies had come true. Cordelia was trembling underneath her so violently that she placed a palm on her stomach and chuckled, “Calm down, or you’re gonna toss me off the bed in about three seconds.”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe this is real. That you’re real. I’m so mad at myself for being too cowardly to tell you sooner. I just didn’t think it’d be possible,” she trailed off, a frown creasing her otherwise perfect features.

Misty poked her stomach, “Nah, we both were bein’ a buncha babies. But we’re here now and that’s what matters. Right?”

A nod. “Right.”

A split second later, Misty’s mouth was attached to one of Cordelia’s nipples, her tongue swirling it with a fast pace that elicited the sounds she had been dying to hear. Cordelia arched up and groaned, one hand coming to thread itself in long blonde strands.

Misty would be content to have this quick taste of Cordelia’s skin, but it wasn’t the one she desired so badly to have. In a rushed movement, she stopped torturing and pushed herself down between the apex of Cordelia’s thighs. Pausing there for a moment, she brushed light fingertips over the length of a thigh.

“You’re so pretty. Takes my breath away, it always has. Always will. Especially at night when I wake up from a nightmare all I have to do is look over atcha pretty face and I’m fine. You’re a real fuckin’ dream, you know that?”

Cordelia could do absolutely nothing but nod and say, “It’s the same for me. You’re more beautiful than anything I could ever possibly imagine. It makes me feel so much.”

“Yeah,” Misty laughed, “But I’m still tryin’ to make you feel some other stuff.” She deftly pulled Cordelia’s underwear down her legs and tossed it behind her for later worries, leaving her spread open like an offering for Misty’s greedy eyes. Sucking in a deep breath, she blew out a puff of air and chuckled to herself once more.

“Well, goddamn.”

“ _Misty_.”

“Shit, yeah, sorry.” She placed one careful palm on the inside of a thigh and pushed it further apart so she could cup the wetness that pooled there. Inhaling sharply through her nose at just how _wet_ Cordelia really was, she began her work.

Stroking over her softly at first, Misty relished the sweet sighs and noise of utter contentment coming from the woman above. She traced slight circles around Cordelia’s clit, pressing down harder when the older woman clenched her abdominal muscles and hissed, “ _Fuck_.”

Having the usual straight laced, prim and proper supreme spilling out profanities in her bed had Misty’s head swimming. She wasn’t quite sure she’d ever be able to top this moment again for the rest of her lifetime. Feeling emboldened now, she lifted her hand from between legs and lazily darted her tongue out to garner a taste.

Releasing them with a soft pop, she giggled at Cordelia’s wide eyes and following moan. “Was it something I said?”

“If had known you were a tease, I would have fucked you first to show you I’m not one to be played with.” Despite the crassness, Cordelia cracked a wide smile that shone a light in the darkest parts of Misty’s soul.

Raising an eyebrow, Misty scoffed, “I'll keep that in mind for next time.” She dropped her hand back down and didn’t waste another second, pushing her fingers inside Cordelia. Two fingers quickly became three as she began thrusting harder and faster, egged on by the noises above.

“Misty,” Cordelia choked out her name, “You feel _so_ good.” With the younger blonde worshiping her so tenderly, almost irritatingly so, she began whimpering for Misty to lean up and kiss her. Granting her this request, Misty shifted so she could continue her movements and press her lips to Cordelia’s. Both forms of connection made their bodies rut even harder against each other.

It didn’t take Cordelia long, especially not after the years long pent up energy and arousal thrumming so deliciously through her veins. With Misty thrusting inside her most sensitive area, a thumb rolling in slow circles over her clit, Cordelia keened once, twice, and on the third full body spasm came all over Misty’s hand.

Misty wasn’t sure what she’d done in her past life to be able to feel Cordelia clench around her fingers so tightly. With soothing motions, she brought her down from her high as delicately as possible. She crawled down and kissed Cordelia there on the wet, slick skin just to feel the quivers on her lips.

So when Cordelia gasped out another deep moan, something in Misty clicked.

“Oh, you like that, don’tcha,” she purred. Another kiss, this time ghosting her lips over her sensitive clit. Cordelia began chanting Misty’s name like a prayer spreading her legs and arching upwards. She flattened her tongue and licked a long line up the length of Cordelia, laughing when she just about jumped off the bed. Pressing her stomach down with a careful palm, she licked her again, harder this time.

Finally beginning to eat her out relentlessly, Cordelia started emitting these sounds that Misty would spend another thousand years in Hell just to hear again. But she didn’t have to, she was here, and this was her reality. Still unable to believe that she wasn’t in some fucked up dream that threatened to turn out fake, Misty ignored doubts and took in what she had underneath her.

Which was this- Cordelia’s flushed skin, her arched chest, and eyes closed with her head thrown back. Misty slid her tongue between the folds several more times before _finally_ wrapping her lips around her wet clit, her velvet tongue flicking out to tease the woman above. Cordelia was in full throes by now, rocking rhythmically against Misty’s face, coating her lips and chin unabashedly. After a few mind numbing moments, Cordelia was crying out, the burning pleasure overcoming all of her senses. Without any warning she stiffened, Misty’s name dropping from her lips one final time and then it was over.

Misty felt her tremble and shatter through the orgasm all from where her lips were connected so indecently. Smiling into the now drenched skin, she pressed delicate kisses over and over until Cordelia physically pried her up into her embrace. When Misty traipsed her fingers over a nipple and flicked it, Cordelia swatted her away and lazily pretended to push her off.

“You’re a little demon, aren’t you.”

“Well smack my ass and call me Lucifer,” Misty laughed.

“I’ll do the first part, but I prefer to call you Misty,” she breathed, too sated to reply any further.

Misty dropped her head down once more onto Cordelia’s chest, feeling her strong arms wrap around her back. “I love you,” she whispered into the skin above Cordelia’s heart. “I love you so much it hurts me.”

She felt Cordelia’s chest rise with the sigh that came out. “I know. I feel the same. I’m sorry it took us so long to be here together.”

“Me too,” she agreed.

“I think I owe you something now,” Cordelia husked. “Roll over.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” she drawled as she flopped over on the other side.

Cordelia straddled her waist, leftover wetness coating the smooth skin there. Misty smiled so widely it blinded Cordelia’s vision, this time a welcomed blindness. She brushed her fingertips over and over as if she couldn’t believe Misty was real, “I’m sorry I made you feel as though I didn’t love you. It was just so hard for me to imagine that you ever felt the same.”

“Cordelia?”

She lifted her head, “Yes?”

“Stop apologizing and prove it to me.”

Then Misty was being lifted up off her back, encouraged by Cordelia to be the one straddling her waist now. Underestimating how strong she was, Misty clutched at her shoulder to steady herself, complying when Cordelia tugged her shirt up and off. Glancing down with hooded eyes, she said, “In all my fantasies, it’s always like this. Me in your lap, with your fingers inside me, your mouth on my-“

Her words were stifled with a hot, open mouthed kiss that made her soul sing. “Let me try and live up to them,” Cordelia murmured.

With one hand, Cordelia clutched her lower back, the other teasing Misty through soaked underwear.

Biting back a sharp groan, Misty tossed her head back and bared her neck for Cordelia’s wandering mouth. Pressing kisses down the length, Cordelia paused in the spots that made her muscles tense to bite down lightly and soothe quickly with her tongue. Misty was too far past the ability to speak, instead choking out fragments of sentences that sounded like _‘moremoremore_.’

Taking this to heart, Cordelia dipped inside and began moving her fingers down to take some of the wetness and drag it up towards her clit. Pressing her fingers there and swirling slowly, Misty started panting as though she couldn’t catch her breath. ”Cord _elia_.”

“I’ve got you, I got you,” Cordelia gave her one more fierce love bite and started moving her fingers. She didn’t want this moment to ever end; would spend her next hundred years right here in this exact position with Misty, but she wasn’t sure her love would be too happy with the idea of teetering on the edge for so long.

So she pushed forward, slipping her fingers over Misty and pausing for a sweet second, enamored by the soft sigh that accompanied the movement. Misty didn’t take too kindly to her pause, clasping her wrist and pushing the fingers inside warm, wet heat. _Finally_ , _finally, finally._

Now Misty was the one to pause, too overwhelmed by how fucking _good_ Cordelia felt inside her to move. “Oh, _this_ ,” she gasped, “Feels much better when you do it.”

Cordelia huffed out a laugh and knocked their foreheads together. “Every word that comes out of your mouth surprises me.”

Misty didn’t reply, just sunk down on the two fingers and began rolling her hips. This was more intimate than they’d ever imagined being with each other- the closeness they’re experiencing now is almost more pressure than they could handle. It’s like drowning on dry land or trying to keep your head above water when the tide is coming in.

Twisting her fingers so she hit that sweet spot, Cordelia kept up the movements despite the cramp in her hand. She wasn’t too concerned with her own pain when it was giving Misty so much _pleasure_. Deftly adding a thumb on her clit to add to the roaring gratification, Cordelia aided the slow rolls and mumbled into her chest, “Let me hear you come. You feel so good, baby. So fucking good around my fingers.”

Twisting her own nipple between her forefinger and thumb, Misty started rolling her hips more forcefully. Under her breath, she sighed impatiently, “ _Delia-_ I need more, please, please, please.”

The two fingers inside of her became three as Cordelia caught on immediately. She tilted her head to the perfect angle to capture a nipple between her lips, tugging it slightly to see how much more Misty could handle. Which was not a lot, as Misty ground down once more and then came hard on an elongated sigh, the blunt nails at her back scratching lightly and leaving marks of love in its wake. Misty couldn’t fathom being able to care about how loud she’d been or how she’s likely dripping down Cordelia’s wrist, when her whole world had just changed in the last fifteen minutes. Nothing else mattered but how heartachingly close her and Cordelia have just become.

When she came to, Misty opened her eyes and stared down at Cordelia with wonder. “Never thought we’d get that far.” She angled Cordelia’s chin up and kissed her mouth, soft and sweet, the beginning of many more to come.

“I hope it lived up to your fantasies,” Cordelia replied, matching the same look of wonder in her eyes.

“Oh, baby, it was even better than I ever coulda’ come up with. Maybe later I can tell you some more of ‘em. There’s this one where you’re sittin’ pretty on my face, riding it into oblivion,” she trailed off, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Cordelia inhaled sharply and nearly wailed. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” She carefully removed her fingers and debated something, finally bringing them up to her own lips for a taste. Misty shuddered, taking her wrist and putting Cordelia’s fingers in her mouth afterwards. Finally, everything had fallen neatly into place for Misty, the world continuing to spin on its rightful axis.

If she wasn’t so wonderfully fucking content with her life right now, Misty would likely be mad at herself for ever believing Cordelia hadn’t loved her. Now it made sense, Cordelia’s small gestures of love had been her way of dealing with her own set of personal demons. Cordelia hadn’t been able to stop herself from expressing her love through small, intimate acts that Misty had mistook for denial. These demons berated her like Misty’s had, telling her there was not a chance in Hell their love was mutual. But here they were, breaking down those walls together.

And that’s what mattered.

Carefully extracting herself from Cordelia’s lap, Misty moved them to mirror their earlier position on their sides facing each other. She reached out and tugged a lock of perfectly curled blonde hair and smiled. “I never thought I could touch you like this. Not- like I just did,” she winked, ”but this,” she lifted the lock of hair. “It’s more intimate than what I could ever imagine. Holding you, feelin’ your soft skin, it’s so much. It’s like I’m cradling fine china or some shit like that.”

“Misty,” she breathed, “You're more than welcome to do as you please. I’ll never get tired of it. I promise you.”

“You’ll be takin’ that back in the next hour when I can’t keep my hands off ya,” Misty grinned and kissed Cordelia again, then once more for good measure. “I just wish we would have realized sooner. It would have made my life much easier."

“Yeah,” Cordelia agreed, “Mine too. I’m glad the universe brought us together, though. Terrible circumstances or not, there’s no one else in this world I’d want right here with me. I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you earlier during the game, you have no idea how badly I wanted to. I should have. I should have kissed you years ago. ”

Misty’s soul sang out, a chorus of angels coming together to hum a hymn that brought tears to her eyes again. “It feels so good to hear ya say that, baby.” Pulling Cordelia in her arms, Misty laid still as the former found her new home in the crook of Misty’s neck. She’d be content to lie like this, forever and a day.

And it looked like Misty would let her.

“Cordelia?”

“Hm?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare."

A simple, “Kiss me again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> many many manyyyyy thanks to my talented friend ix, on tumblr at dirtyrippedjeans who edited this for me. (her art & writing is spectacular- please check it out.) also special thanks to my main bitch phoebe who also edited and hyped me the fuck up as usual. ilysm.  
> also, Madison lives matter, don’t @ me
> 
> you know where to find me by now (i hope?)


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